neutral

Right now
I am perfectly,
wonderfully
balanced.
The self-destructive part of me, ever present,
is a perfect match
for the drunk part of me, which I'm afraid of indulging too often.

I am neutral.

And so
I will gently fall asleep,
instead of self-destructing
instead of over-drinking.

And I will forget
everything
for a few blissful hours.